A Note To My Dear Friends and Family

I don't have children so I live through you vicariously. So you better start posting pictures of your little ones in their costumes or else!!! And thanks to those of you who already have (Meredith, Amanda and Camille). The rest of you better get to it!!! And Leah, I'm still waiting for pictures of that new house of yours!!! I'm dying to see it!

Thanks! (And a Little Update)

First of all, thanks to all of you for your support and advice. I needed it this week. I can say that things have definitely been better, and the cravings are not so bad anymore. I did have sugar during the week - just in moderation. Mostly in the form of hot chocolate, something I crave in the fall. I also found this tasty treat - chocolate granola. I love bear naked granola because it is low in sugar, is all natural, and it tastes yummy. I think this is a great way to curb/satisfy my need for chocolate without going over board. I bought some dark chocolate squares to help ward off the cravings as well.

Now for the real splurge. I bought an incline trainer/treadmill. I've been looking at these for the last few months. NordicTrack makes them, and I kept going to their website hoping for a sale. No such luck. So I checked Craig's List several times. Still no luck. Then, on a whim, I decided I'd look on ebay. I found one for about 700-800 dollars less than the retail price! And it was new...I think it might have been a floor model. But what really makes me proud? I put it together all by myself - no easy feat - I can tell you!!! This thing is HEAVY!!! The day it arrived, it took me over an hour just to get it out of the box. Then I had to go to class. I just figured I'd have to call a friend to come over to help. And then I realized that I didn't want to wait, that I wanted to get to using it. And so I put it together.
And of course I've been using it ever since. I ran three and a half miles today. I was shocked at both the length of the speed of my run. I chalk that up to doing stairs. So before this came, my workouts were in the stairwell of my building. I honestly believe that if you want to build up some stamina, start doing stairs!

I'm still looking for advice and support...any ideas you throw my way will be much appreciated!

HELP!!! (Or Two Bags of Peanut Butter Cups...in Three Days!)

Why am I posting a picture of a Coke bottle filled with sugar? Keep in mind that this is seventeen teaspoons of sugar, the amount in one twenty-ounce soda, and read the following...

So last January/February, I made a goal to go off of sugar for a month. I even went over my goal, 32 days, to be exact, without having sugar. But lately, my need for the stuff has been little on the fiendish side. Or perhaps a lot on the fiendish side! I'll go into a little more detail in a moment.

So what am I needing help with? I need to eat better and exercise more. I want to lose weight and get myself back into healthier habits. I feel frustrated, though, because I don't have a support system. That's my fault. I think one of the hardest things for anyone to do is to ask for help. I do not like asking people to do things for me. I would rather do it on my own. But lately it occurs to me that this is NOT something I can do on my own. And I am tired of trying to do it on my own. I need a cheer squad! I'm asking my friends and family to be my cheer squad.

So the sugar problem...consider the following. I ate three candy bars, three Klondike bars and polished off some left over frozen cookie dough in three days. I had two twenty ounce Cokes and some hot chocolate this week. Then later in the week, I was really craving Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. In a matter of ONLY three days, I ate two bags. This is no joke people! That might be the most embarrassing thing I've ever admitted. Seriously. Who does that? I want to be honest, however. I think telling the truth to others might help me be a little more honest with myself. I've been struggling up and down with my weight for about six years now, and I am tired. After a week like this, I realized I couldn't let it go on.

Realistically, I'm not going to quit eating sugar forever. I really need to figure out a balance that works for me. And if shame helps me to get started, then shame it is! Because that is how I feel about what I ate - ASHAMED. I didn't intend my blog to become a food confessional. However, for the next few months, I'm going to be posting about my progress and asking for advice. For now, I just ask that you give me some of your ideas about how you have learned to control sugar intake. That and please be my cheerleader! I need it!!!

a funny dilemma

What to do...what to do? So most of you all know that my full name is Deborah Michelle Fish. I've always gone by Michelle, except during that brief stint in kindergarten when I decided to exercise my independence and become Deborah.

Anyway, most of my records say Deborah Michelle Fish because of SSN/tax stuff. It's just easier to explain to people that I go by Michelle. So whenever I'm in a new class, I try to let the teacher know right away that I go by Michelle. And this is what happened in federal regulation of international trade. The teacher had us introduce ourselves as he went through the roll, and I let him know my preference. I guess he forgot.

About every other week, when my assigned case happens to come up, he calls me Deborah. And then he even calls me Deb...which is WEIRD!!! Only my closest friends and family call me that. Seriously. It's sort of reserved for people like my mom...or dad...or Dawn...or Nate. What do I do? We're half way through the semester and he's used the name for the last five weeks or so. Do I tell him or just go with it? I ask because some of my classmates are confused. Yesterday one of them asked me what was up. Would it be rude to tell my professor at this point that I go by Michelle?

a few more notes from summer (or the end of summer vacay...sad!)

So I'm starting this post with the last thing I did while I was in Utah. We had a family picnic in Payson Canyon at Black Hawk. I think this is one of my favorite places on earth. It is so so so so so so beautiful. I love it! We ate tinfoil dinners - a favorite of mine, made s'mores and roasted Starbursts.

Jess, Cora and Peyton. Peyton loves his girls!

My gorgeous sister-in-law and her adorable son Peyton.
I think this is one of my favorite pictures. Jess and Maren running with Cricket. The look on Jess's face makes me laugh. I think it says everything there is to say about Jessica!
My beautiful sister-in-law Carol and her cutie - Emmitt.
Maren - or Mar-Bear - running at full speed...so adorable!

My brother Travis and my mom...awe!!! Trav wouldn't be a good subject and refused to smile or look at the camera!

Some of the scenery. And one of the things that makes me homesick. Seriously!

My cute grandpa and grumpy brother...

A whole bunch of deer in a meadow together.

Me, Maren and Peyton roasting Starbursts and making s'mores. So YUMMY!

Peyton and Jess. Another favorite picture. It is so sweet how much he loves his cousins!

And now to wrap up my summer vacation series...

After getting back from Vegas/California, I was super excited to see my brother Josh, his wife Carol, and their four adorable children. I have to brag and say that I have the CUTEST nieces and nephews on the planet!!! We had fun hanging out. We went to the Ochre Mountain Temple open house. So nice! The chandeliers were my favorite part. Bernie and I went to a couple of movies together The Proposal - very funny, and Carol joined us for Julie and Julia - which was so good! I love movies. We also went to HP and the Half Blood Prince with Travis, my mom, Tyler and Peyton. I don't think Travis or Ty loved it. But I've seen it twice more since then. Obviously I'm a fan.

I also got to see several friends for "book club." I don't think we discuss books much when we get together, but it was so good to see people and to catch up. I'm the luckiest girl because I have such great friends. Dawn and I went to the temple one day and spent about five hours or so doing everything. It was fabulous. I have to brag and say that I think Dawn might be the strongest woman alive. She's been through so much this year, and yet her testimony and her love for the gospel have not waivered. She's my hero!!!

Carol and I agreed to do a half-marathon together, so we started our mornings jogging/walking. I have to give her props and say that she trained MUCH harder than me and kicked my trash! We had to get up so early on race day, and I must admit that because I am NOT a morning person, I was far less than enthusiastic. Then we got to the top of the mountain and it was FREEZING!!! Like 40-ish degrees. I'm not going to lie - Carol and I cuddled while sitting on a plastic garbage bag. It was miserably cold. But as the sun came up and we started the race, I was so glad I signed up. It was hard and I didn't have the best finishing time in the world, but I don't care. It was so stunningly beautiful up there. I don't know if I've every appreciated just how pretty Provo Canyon is. I wish I had taken my camera. Thanks for doing that with me Carol!!! I'm hoping to do it again next year if I can be in Utah at that time. And in the mean time, I'm looking doing a little research to find another half-marathon in this area.

So that about does it! Next time I hope to spend more time with my dad. He was working so hard that I didn't get to see him enough. I did spend one evening with him while he fed the animals. It's a regular Green Acres at the Fish's place! Horses, chickens, lambs...even cows (I think!). And a garden, thanks to Aunt Cindy, to boot!

I miss you guys!

Vegas, Baby, Vegas (or How I Spent My Summer Part II)

So I promised I'd post again soon, and here I am writing a new post! Aren't you all proud of me???

So I went to Utah for a month. It was great! I had such a great time with the family and friends. Here are some highlights from the first leg of the trip. And sorry...no pictures. I'm the worst when it comes to taking pictures!

• Weds. July 15: Mom and Peyton pick me up from the airport, and right away, Peyton is ready to go swimming. Never mind my fatigue! How can I say no to him??? So we went swimming!
• Thurs. July 16: Tyler wanted to go shopping for some new shoes, and he asked me to go with him! I didn't want to embarrass him by getting super excited, but on the inside, I was so happy and flattered he asked. Of course, I ended up buying shirts, but Ty didn't buy anything. We even went to Cafe Rio after. YUM!
  
• I spent the next week or so working on a project for Professor Denbeaux. Not so fun. But at least most of it is complete! What a relief.
  
• Sat. July 25: Went to my high school reunion. I admit that I had to be talked into it. But I had a great time! Thanks to Jamie, the great social planner, and all the married couples from our graduating class, for putting it all together.
  
• Sun. July 26: Headed to Vegas to see Lauren and Jamie. I spent the night at Lauren's (my old place). We talked until about midnight. It was great to catch up. I've missed her!
• Mon. July 27: Headed to see Jamie. We took off for California and good times in Disneyland!!! I LOVE DISNEYLAND!!! We laughed and laughed on the way down. I cannot believe how much we talked. Hardly a moment of silence. I love having such great girlfriends who will take off and go to Disneyland on the spur of the moment! When we to there, we got some yummy food and watched the Bachelorette (no shame here!).
  
• Tues. July 28: On to Disney. I had so much fun. I think my favorite was the Tower of Terror. But old school Disney is still the best. Peter Pan, Pirates of the Caribbean, Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, The Haunted House and It's a Small World. LOVED IT!!!! We were so worn out by the time it was over. Totally worth it.
• Wed. July 29: Headed back to Vegas. We listed to great music and again laughed and talked. We even stopped at the state line to ride the roller coaster at Buffalo Bills. Love the roller coasters! Then back to Lauren's place. More great conversation and a little So You Think You Can Dance! How can you not enjoy that??? I had some In and Out Burger! YUM!
  
• Thurs. July 30: Lauren and I went to Capriotti's - the yummiest sandwich shop ever - for some lunch. And then I was off again to Utah.

I'll post more later. But thanks to my dear mother for letting me take off in her car for five days. And thanks to Lauren and Jamie for being such great friends and wanting to hang out with me! I may not love Vegas - but I love and miss you girls so much!!!

Bloggers Who Don't Blog (or How I Spent My Summer Vacay Part I)

Yep! I've become that blogger...a blogger who does not blog. Sorry folks. I know it's been over three months. No excuses. Just haven't felt much like blogging these days.

So, I thought maybe I should talk about my summer a bit. My last final was on May 16th. After that, I made a beeline for the Newark Public Library. Thanks to a great tip from a fellow classmate, Adam, I discovered one thing I love about Newark. The library here is AWESOME. It's housed in a beautiful old building near a park. I walk over there about once a week. I can check out all sorts of goodies, including new movies. I think I'm done w/my subscription to Netflix. Why pay when you can get movies for free?!?! :).

But of course my favorite part about the library is that the stacks feel sort of old and musty - like a library should feel. I'm so nerdy. And of course, I've been reading like a mad woman. I've rediscovered how much I love books, so I think I've read about fifteen books this summer. LOVE LOVE LOVE to read. I can't believe how much I've missed reading. I won't give you all the titles, but here are a few faves.

• Time Traveler's Wife (Audrey Niffenegger) - AMAZING! Not for conservative readers, however.
  
• The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society (Mary Ann Shaffer) - EXCELLENT!
  
• The Thirteenth Tale (Diane Setterfield) - throw back to the Gothic romance - really fun.
  
• The Peacegiver (James L. Ferrell) - inspiring and uplifiting.
  
• Oh, and I really liked Revelation (CJ Sansom) - part of my renewed obsession with the Henry VIII time period.

Here are a few things I've been reading/plan on reading. Just finished Fairest. It was definitely for young readers. I think I might have enjoyed it when I was eight. But I didn't love it. Devlin Diary just looked interesting. I haven't started it yet. Friends recommended Memoirs of a Geisha. And Something Wicked This Way Comes is mine. I've wanted to read it for a long time.

Movies: Brideshead Revisited was okay. Not nearly as good as Atonement. I've seen Breach before, but I loved it, so I wanted to rewatch it. And I rented the Tudors - a tv series on Showtime. I have to fast forward a lot. But I'm sort of obsessed with Henry VIII, so I really like it. So much intrigue and double dealing. I would have hated to be a woman in that time period.

I'll post some more highlights soon! PROMISE!!!