I had watched an episode of Oprah earlier in the week concerning the lack of courtesy in our country. Apparently people feel it is pretty bad. So, going back to the train situation, I was getting on the one door the operator had decided to open for the hundred or so commuters (and yes there were several more that could be opened but that is a whole other rant for another day). I was trying to politely wait my turn, giving space to the people in front. After all, I knew that despite the inconvenience, I would get on and get a seat in plenty of time. However, the woman behind me felt differently. After being shoved from the back many time over, I turned around, and firmly said, "Please stop shoving me." I didn't yell. I wasn't trying to make a scene. I just was tired of being propelled forward into the crowd when all I wanted was to give others the same space that I wanted to be given to me.
Needless to say, she didn't take it well. She told me that she hadn't shoved me. I corrected her and said she had. She tried to make the excuse that everyone was pushing. I said that no, I wasn't. I was trying to leave some space so I wouldn't shove the people in front of me and asked her to please stay out of my space. She then said that I was rude and disrespectful of my elders, while, at the same time shoving my friend in her attempts to move forward. So, as I told her it wasn't a lack of respect on my part but on hers, my friend very calmly pointed out the fact that she was, indeed shoving, as she had just shoved my friend. She got quiet, having no obvious retort for the fact that she was being rude. She then proceeded to speak in a foreign tongue to her friend standing nearby, probably about how I was a rude little American.
Now, I shouldn't have gotten as upset as I did during the exchange that took place. I really wasn't trying to be rude. I just didn't want to be shoved anymore. What I don't get is why it is acceptable for someone to pull the age card as an excuse for rude behavior. Shoving people is rude. Asking not to be shoved is not rude. Am I crazy?
5 comments:
You go Michelle! You are very brave. I love that you stood your ground and let her know! I saw that same Oprah and loved it.
It's a social psychological problem. In general shoving and jostling gets tolerated because:
a. you're in a group that is already crowded and as a result it is going to happen anyway and
b: there is a level of anonymity in the fact that you will probably never see these people again and in your case, unless the individual actually does something to stop you, pushing them in the back increases the anonymity since they probably don't even have a face to put with it.
She pulled the age card because it is fairly obvious in her mind that she is a kind and respectful person and wouldn't ever be rude, therefore the only logical explanation is that you, the younger disrespectful american girl must be the rude one. Though she never thought that consciously I am sure it wasn't until you pressed the issue and your companion pointed out that there was more than one evidence to the fact that she had to take into consideration that she might be wrong, in which instance she looks to her companion to reassure her that she is in fact a decent person and these rude americans are to blame. Speaking of social psych. I have a test to study for.
Love you
Josh
hahahaha. you lost me...
you're such a rude little snot. Why don't you have some respect for your elders. This lady was just being pushed from behind. If you hadn't been there to hold her up she could have fallen and broken a hip.
You're awesome. I love that you said something. It doesn't sound like you were being rude at all.
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